Choate’s full of busy students, and the editors of The Choate News are no exception. As Valentine’s Day draws near, these sleep-deprived but lovable Newsies are seeking soulmates to finally fill their lonely hearts. After all, they’re soon to have much more time on their hands.
Henrik Torres, Editor-in-Chief
This brain-wrinkle lover seeks an accomplice who will support his habit of pouring milk before cereal. A firm believer of “West Coast, best coast,” he will persuade you to try the newest trends on food YouTube. Binge-reading The New York Times with him is a must, at least when not taking his daily nap. Plus, inspired by his favorite Star Trek characters, he has an OOTD for all 365 days of the year: an orange jacket and jeans — perfect if you are into the traffic cone look.
Rachel Pittman, Managing Editor
Rarely spotted without a knee-length parka and two layers (minimum) of pants on, this Eckhart-enthusiast is always bundled up to protect her warm heart. When planning dates, remember she’s aggressively vegetarian but has many a fineprint exception, i.e. her grandma’s chicken soup, Tuesdays, etc. A tip: don’t question it. A driver’s license and willingness to reenact SNL sketches are required — if only so she can show off her Bill Hader impression.
Renee Jiang, School News
A keen pessimist at first glance (don’t fret, she loves humanity), this double co-captain is looking for an optimist oozing happiness from every pore. Sunday nights must be spent vigorously skipping through scenes in rom-coms or reality TV. Looking for an environmentalist adept at taking an unearthly number of sunset pictures. Suitors must be extremely proficient in intense banter or remain on the receiving end of sarcastic commentary.
Praj Chirathivat, School News
Thai student and School News aficionado is ready to ball at a moment’s notice. Boasting an impressive 290 lbs bench press and 500 lbs squat, he always carries when on the CS:GO 5-stack. He’s looking for a spunky jazz guitarist who will listen to Frank Ocean with him — and rumor has it, that he’s already found one.
Adrienne Chacón, Local News
This literature-loving workaholic is seeking a partner fluent in John Mulaney and Marvel references. On a movie night, prepare for loud color commentary. Take her to the bookstore for boba and a discussion of Octavia Butler. If you’re a good hugger who can match her wit and warm energy, this is the girl for you. Additionally, if you’re Chris Evans in a sweater, you needn’t apply: the wedding has already been planned.
Jessica Wu, Campus Opinions
Slightly intimidating speed-typer seeks a partner who will lovingly accept selfies of her crying late at night and interpret her various one-syllable utterances, i.e. “ah.” But be wary, word on the block is that she already has her eye on another day student. Or townie. Unclear. If you’re looking to shoot your shot, find her in her car (named “Monica”) or the library—but look twice. No, that’s not a beaver; her back just does that sometimes.
Anika Midha, Opinions Nation/World
If you’re interested in this girlboss N/W Editor, you’d better buy a time turner — she manages to be in at least three places at once at all times. But it’s worth the hustle; no one can match this mystery woman’s soothing voice, all-black ensembles, and academic weaponry. She may be short, but don’t come short-stocked on love — numerous Revenge marathons are a must.
Kate Bailey, Features
Quirky southern belle seeks partner to match her endless knowledge of Joni Mitchell lyrics and magazine ledes. But Marx my words, before you shoot your shot, brush up on your politics: her Chelsea boots may seem innocent enough, but she will persuade you to vote with her endless ethics bowl skills. You must carry a dual appreciation for wordplay and the AP Stylebook — after all, true love isn’t all puns and games.
Angel Guo, Arts & Leisure
Killer whale obsessed girl looks for a smart, hip, city boy who can switch from sweetly watching K-Dramas with her one second to bossily telling her to start her work the next. Be warned — her heart already belongs to 100,000 corgis, so you’ll have to share her affection with these furry competitors. Plan a date to go watch the moon, but, wait, the moon isn’t real, or at least that’s what Angel’s beloved “science theory” videos tell her. Isn’t love a conspiracy theory anyway?
Richard Chen, Sports
With killer instincts from thousands of hours spent with COD Zombies and CS:GO, this Bostonian casually speaks Arabic and rambles about Vietna-mese history. Obsessed with pronouncing Thai last names, he is not afraid to explore his roots in Asian culture. Any species who can help him eat leftovers from China King and can withstand the smashing of keyboards in matches is the right person for him. Also, make sure you’re prepared to listen to “Rubbin’ Off the Paint,” by YBN Nahmir, on repeat.
Linda Phan, Layout
This chaotic layout queen spends her two hours of sleep a night dreaming of the person who will accept her for her colorful, puffy jacket penchant. See her across campus, and you might wonder, “Is that a red tomato meandering across Mem field?” A self-proclaimed earth bender, she’s a confidant and rock to many. Although she describes herself as a twin sister of a mushroom, never fear, in real life, she’s much more like a young flower, blooming into her mid-class naps and environmental rambles.
Tiffany Xiao, Photography
This ex-photography editor needs someone who can listen to sad music with her over shared audio. When she isn’t strumming a Dean Lewis tune, her poignant laugh can be heard across the dining hall. Must be able to endure long Broadway musical jam-out sessions, with an occasional Disney song. Even though she might look a bit distraught during her daily walk to the pool, no fear! This little puppy is all bark and no bite.
Yujin Kim, Graphics
Graphics editor with a strange attachment to the electric bass is on the lookout for a soulmate who echoes her belief in the magical nature of coincidences. A lover of comforting headphones that double as earmuffs during the winter, she longs for someone to support her through her endless nosebleeds. If you don’t mind pulling an all-nighter to complete a 10,000 piece puzzle, you’ve met your match.
