Graphic by Katherin Chong ’25
Sitting on the cold, stone stairs leading up to Memorial House on my first Saturday at Choate, I patiently awaited the impending dorm meeting organized by our advisers. As I put on a mask of intrigue and happiness, I mentally prepared myself for a sluggish, monotonous speech. However, my expectations couldn’t have been any more wrong. I found myself listening intently as Mr. Ned Gallagher, our house adviser, explained his motto of “the other fellow first,” encapsulating the mentality shared by Memorial House residents.
When I arrived at Choate as a new international student, I was welcomed by my peers who eagerly offered to help me out and gave me a brief tour of campus. My new dorm-mates, despite having early-morning preseason football practice and other campus obligations, fought through the lethargy to give a helping hand to an oblivious South Korean repeating freshman year. I was moved that their thoughtfulness and consideration towards a total stranger came not from a prefect or adviser harping on their shoulder, but simply from a sense of Mem House camaraderie.
The School’s decision to provide a single dorm for all male-identifying, freshman boarding students enables opportunities for them to engage in the most fundamental aspect of Choate: building meaningful relationships. Despite our different academic schedules and extracurricular interests, Memorial House is where we all return at the end of the day and prepare with one another for the next.
Memorial House is still a work-in-progress; it is a tapestry woven by the freshman boys that — with a bit of tidying up — will become a complete and unified project by the end of the academic year. The mix of unique backgrounds, cultures, ethnicities, identities, life experiences, and personalities creates a group that, together, is vibrant and full of character. The lasting bonds that I have created with my fellow Memorial House residents in a mere three weeks is a testament to the unity and acceptance exhibited by “Mem Boys.”
That said, the residents of Mem House have a notorious reputation, with the false characterization of a “Mem Boy” illustrating a chaotic, rowdy, and unorganized student. However, during my brief residence in Mem House, I have observed that this broad description is both unreasonable and imprecise.
Not only does the term “Mem Boy” serve as an injustice towards those who are respectful and responsible members of the community, such characterizations create a stigma and shame around those who are still learning to adapt to life at Choate. Growth is a crucial part of the Choate experience, but it requires thoughtful reflection on past mistakes and a determination to correct them in the future. It goes without saying that the freshman boys living in Mem House aren’t perfect — sometimes they cause chaos in the dining hall or skip a shower here and there. However, the inaccurate “Mem Boy” persona attached to all freshmen boys judges us for being flawed rather than encouraging growth.
The negative connotation of a “Mem Boy” is an issue that has been addressed by our advisers, and we have begun to pioneer its recontextualization with the assistance of our prefects. Through our tedious, yet vital dorm meetings where advisers clarify school policies and prefects provide us with personal advice, we hope that the negative perception of the “Mem Boy” will be reconstructed. Advisers and prefects alike make sure to draw the line between where the rambunctious energy of freshman boys becomes disrespectful by enforcing stricter policies and organizing personalized meetings.
Memorial House is not all sunshine and rainbows, but we “Mem Boys” are excited to exhibit change and uphold the values of the greatest dorm on campus — we just hope that we will have the acceptance and support of the school community as we do so.
