From a young age, we are taught to call our teachers by their last name and accompany it with a title. From kindergarten through senior year, we may not even know the first names of our teachers due to this classroom norm. But as the times change, so do some of the traditions and practices of the past. Some Choate teachers, however, go against the grain and choose to be called by their first name.
For ceramics teacher Mr. Aaron Sober, the choice to go by his first name was a recent one. He said, “I went by Mr. Sober for a very long time. But it didn’t seem to be the right name, and so I switched this year to Aaron.” He credited the Covid-19 pandemic with spurring the switch to his first name. He wanted to counter the disconnection of remote learning with closer relationships between him and his students. “I think it’s more comfortable in a lot of cases to address each other in the same manner — all by our first names. It’s slightly equalizing.”
Aaron doesn’t feel that the “Mr.” title is a crucial indicator of the teacher-student power dynamic. “I’m still the teacher, the students are still the students, no matter whether I go by my first name or my last name, so the fundamentals don’t change about that,” he said. “It doesn’t seem like the name is necessary to maintain those fundamentals.”
For other teachers, using their first names in the classroom ties back to their culture. Spanish teacher Mr. Sergio López, who previously taught in Bogotá, Colombia, said, “Back in Colombia, before coming here to the U.S., I was used to going by my first name. It felt way too formal and not organic to go by ‘Mr.’” He explained that students are much closer with their teachers in Colombia, which is why they are comfortable addressing them by their first names rather than by their last names.
Still, Sergio had his doubts about using his first name when coming to the United States. “I knew the culture was different. I remember introducing myself and asking students to call me Sergio. And then, in a different context, another teacher mentioned that they had heard students saying that they feel uncomfortable calling the teacher by their first name. I felt bad because I didn’t think of how students felt calling me by my first name, and I wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable.” Now, Sergio makes it clear to his students that while he is more comfortable with them calling him “Sergio,” they are welcome to call him “Mr. López” if they prefer.
As a teacher, Sergio thinks of himself as a guide through the language-learning process rather than an all-knowing “knowledge giver.” Of the teacher-student dynamic, he said, “Almost the only way I can think of [the dynamic] is as a power struggle, and how you exercise power over others. And that’s not at all what I want to do.” By going by his first name, Sergio hopes that students will feel more comfortable with his class. The language learning process, he explained, is already challenging, but by going by his first name, conversations flow more easily.
Ms. Jessica Cuni, a visual arts teacher, also uses her first name in the classroom because of her culture. “I am Quaker, and in the Quaker tradition, the community is intentionally non-hierarchical. At many Quaker schools, all teachers are called by their first names to eliminate any sense that a teacher could be seen as being ‘above’ the students,” said Jessica.
Jessica and Aaron aren’t the only teachers in the Arts Department who prefer to be called by their first names — indeed, many arts teachers on campus are referred to that way. Of this trend, Aaron said, “Artists are less concerned with the honorary title, and more concerned with the person behind it, and their humanity and everybody’s humanity.”
Ms. Tracy Terry, an acting teacher, describes her classroom as a safe space for everyone. “We get along with each other, we become a little family, a little community. Everybody’s cheering everybody on, including me, because I want them to succeed,” she said. With students, she choose to go by Tray Jay, a nickname taken from her stage name, Tracy James. Like many teachers who have students call them my their first name, Tray Jay hopes that her choice will make the classroom a more inclusive and comfortable space for all. Tray Jay said, “When I have students that call me by my first name, I think it gives them a [higher] comfort level.”
