Graphic by Chandler Littleford/The Choate News
I challenged myself to survive one week without using my phone in order to test the notion that mobile phones have taken away our ability to connect with the world around us. On Sunday night, as I slipped my phone into my backpack (I’d decided to keep the device on me in case I happened to be abducted), I was apprehensive. I began to think of all the everyday things I use my phone for, things that you don’t notice until they’re gone — I receive my dad’s texts when picks me up from Choate, immediately find the definition of random words I come across, like “brouhaha,” or check the time.
As Monday morning rolled around and I remembered I couldn’t scroll through my phone before class, I felt bored — not connected to my surroundings, not mindfully aware, simply bored. After years of using my phone to occupy every spare moment I had, I was now presented with the opportunity to fully engage with my surroundings — and I couldn’t. I was so used to having ads, videos, and notifications satisfy my attention that I had lost the ability to entertain myself.
Before volleyball practice on Monday, my boredom shifted. Instead of waiting for external entertainment to come my way, I decided to take things into my own hands. I was reminded of the way I used to feel during the peak of summer break when I was younger when all sources of fun had been depleted. It was time to get creative. Inspired by my former love of homemade obstacle courses, I began to do parkour on the rolled up wrestling mats on the tartan court. As I jumped from mat to mat, I made dramatic sound effects. The self-consciousness I had initially felt due to my confused onlookers was drowned out by the joy of the event. I lived in that moment, unconcerned with the test I had the next day or what would be for dinner. All that mattered was landing on the next wrestling mat.
Throughout the rest of the week, I became more aware of my surroundings. I noticed, without mental prodding, the colors of the trees and the sounds of insects as I walked on the path. I wondered what they were saying. I could entertain myself simply by looking at the world around me and staying grounded in my thoughts. I was even able to fight the urge to take photos at the John Legend concert, trusting that being present in the moment would leave ingrained in me a strong enough memory that would last without photos or videos.
This sense of engaging in the present moment was unexpectedly empowering. I didn’t need my phone to be content; myself and the world around me were enough.
That being said, the bustling world around me refused to appreciate the moment along with me. I struggled to keep up with emails and important texts were left neglected. By the end of the day on Wednesday, this disconnection reached its peak and I became unhealthily anxious about leaving messages unopened. What if they were important? Would people be offended if I didn’t respond to them? I compulsively refreshed my email ten, twenty times, paranoid that I had missed something.
By the end of the week, phoneless started to feel a little normal. I began to accept the fact that I couldn’t use my phone, and therefore, that it wasn’t my fault that if I didn’t answer texts or emails. I had an excuse for indulging in my bubble. For a week, I lived exclusively and truly with myself, free of the device that connects me to others.
Still, my sense of disconnection bled into my sense of the world outside of myself. I check the news only in passing, between classes or before athletics. Without my phone, and I felt my world closing in on me. I could see only as far as my eyes could reach. Of course, I could have used my computer or talked to others to maintain a sense of global awareness and connection, but amidst my busy life at Choate, I didn’t have the time to put in that effort. Instead, I slowly adjusted to my phoneless life and these passing moments became opportunities for productivity.
So, although I value my phone’s ability to connect me with the world, I’ve learned through this that it sometimes shields me from myself. Although I don’t think I will go phoneless again, I will certainly set aside more solitary time to pause and reflect.
