“Memories of many different vivid hues come to me when I reflect on my time at Choate. Purple sunsets through the dining hall, treks to the waterfall at dusk, frost bitten noses and hands that grasp hot chocolate after deep dives in the snow, laughs with the lanphy ladies as they list off my order before the words even leave my mouth — awkward physics tests. Ahhh. Many awkward physics tests.
Those memories are beautiful, and I will cherish them forever. But standing before you all today, I’d like to share another. This is a memory that has cemented itself in my mind, one which has an invaluable message.
It was a school meeting, sophomore year. I was new, I didn’t really know many people — except for those I had grown close with in my dorm. My favorite prefects, (Anya, Esi, and Jules), my beautiful and kind roommate Rose, and other sophomores in McCook I passed the time with — Kenadi, Skye, and Lara. These relationships meant the world to me, because when I questioned if I belonged here, I realized I had a home with them, a family where I fit like a puzzle piece.
At this school meeting, I vividly remember overhearing an upperclassman comment on how ugly my dorm mate’s spiked backpack was, how their hair wasn’t well kept, and how honestly, they couldn’t understand why they were just so odd, why they didn’t present themselves in a “normal” (meaning binary) manner.
This is not a bubbly memory of a purple sunset, or a funny recollection of a friend wiping out on the sidewalk (Lara Stone I’m looking at you). Still, it is a core Choate memory. I listened to a schoolmate tear into someone I valued, simply for being their own person. In that moment, I was beyond disappointed in a peer, hurt for a friend, and certain that what I heard was not right. How could this happen at what was promised to be an accepting community?
I share this with you all for one reason.
In a time where the world is on fire (literally), and in dire need of acceptance and unity, hostility is the last thing we need to foster on our campus – especially as we are the next generation. Nothing is more harmful. This is why I cherish my friends so deeply. They are not the perfect pinterest friend group, or the neat and tidy roommates you see in boarding school dorm tours on YouTube. They don’t always have the best grades and highest test scores, or latest lulu lemon shorts… my friends are simply those with enough love in their hearts to fight for and defend what is right and good. The memories of all the times my friends and I have stood up for what is right outshines overhearing someone else tear another down.
Acceptance is the quality that I most admire in “my people.” There is no seeking of power, instead, just a simple question of, “Is this right?” We may not always understand another person but we strive to accept and value others for their differences and individuality.
I encourage us all to consider doing the same, even when no one is looking. Speaking for myself, being kind, and cherishing my friends throughout my time here was the best thing I ever did while at Choate. I can assure you that good deeds and kindness will never be less valiant when unpraised. In fact, perhaps it’s the lack of acknowledgment that makes the difference. Be there for others, even if it comes with no visible reward.
It is my wish as we navigate out of the challenging environment that has defined the past 3 years, that we can find a way back to love without borders, or the poison of judgement. No challenge or virus can truly endure if we choose to be kind and seek to support each other no matter our differences. Everyone we meet is fighting a battle, an internal struggle that they might not wear on their sleeve.
Be kind, always… We all have a common bond… We said NO to Deerfield. Please remember always to celebrate that and each other!
And remember to always reach before leaving campus.”
