On September 27, more than 80 members of SPECTRUM, Young Democrats, Young Republicans, and Choate Diversity Student Association (CDSA) gathered for an unprecedented meeting in the Bay Room of St. John Hall, to discuss LGBTQ+ issues as part of Spectrum’s Ally Week initiatives.
First proposed by Kathryn Phillips ’20, a cabinet member of SPECTRUM, the discussion topics centered around, as Phillips put it, “religious freedom used as justification for LGBTQ discrimination.” SPECTRUM’s intention, she said “was to use the safe space of SPECTRUM to not necessarily mend the political divide, but to confront it, confront how many people are so stuck on their beliefs and are not open to having an open mind.”
This meeting was appealing to participants and organizers for many reasons, from the opportunity to converse respectfully with people who have different opinions to the ability to dive into topics that are rarely discussed on such a wide scale at Choate.
“I hoped that it would sort of bring to light that Choate Young Republicans, as a whole, is genuinely pretty socially liberal,” said Alex Amine ’19, President of Choate Young Republicans. “The club, as a whole, has no problem with the LGBTQ movement. We genuinely support social advocacy groups, within reason.”
The meeting was structured as an open forum in which students could share their opinions and perspectives simply by raising their hands. Before beginning, club leaders described the guidelines and expectations to be followed throughout the discussion, especially emphasizing the importance of using the “I” perspective to represent personal views, instead of speaking on behalf of a group or population, and maintaining respect by not interrupting or otherwise speaking out of turn.
The first topic was the separation of church and state, referencing the Masterpiece Cakeshop Supreme Court case, which ruled in favor of a Colorado baker who refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple citing his religious rights, as well as rights of the gay community in regards to the Bible.
In the second half of the meeting, the focus turned to the use of preferred pronouns and transgender rights, and a tense discussion that raised deeply sensitive subjects ensued. More than once, CDSA and Spectrum cabinet members, serving as mediators, needed to diffuse the tension through peaceful facilitation and intervention techniques.
“Our role was making sure that everyone felt safe and comfortable in the space to the best of our abilities,” said Bekah Agwunobi ’19, co-president of CDSA.
The majority of participants were respectful and thoughtful towards each other, which greatly aided the flow of the meeting. “For the most part, everyone was really diligent about keeping the conversation open and open to contributions,” said Piper Connelly ’19, co-president of SPECTRUM.
It was clear that many of the students who attended, no matter what their personal views were, left feeling hurt, confused, or, at best, annoyed. Controversial opinions were shared during the meeting, and there were instances in which they were delivered in a way that made participants uncomfortable and upset.
“It definitely opened up people to different viewpoints,” said Itai Mupanduki ’19, President of Choate Young Democrats, “but some of the things that were said could’ve been said in a more sensitive way.”
Students were not necessarily prepared for and were surprised by some of the presented perspectives. “Most people probably knew that there were conservatives on campus, but people may have underestimated the magnitude of it, so to speak,” said Connelly.
The discussion brought to light the need for better awareness on how to engage in thoughtful conversation. “A lot of people came into that meeting very sure of their opinions, and when challenged, a lot of us didn’t have the skill set necessary to understand how to deal with opinions that were different from ours,” remarked Agwunobi.
For some participants, the meeting’s affects weren’t wholly positive. “Members of my club feel attacked because of what they said, and I think that’s absolutely horrible,” said Amine. Following the meeting, clubs were able to gather and talk about concerns or worries participants had.
In a follow-up meeting of SPECTRUM, cabinet members elaborated on avenues of support as well as the acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community at Choate. “We clearly expressed that we do not accept any hate speech on this campus and will put our best efforts into eliminating hate speech,” said Wilson Wang ’19, a peer confidential resource for SPECTRUM and co-president of CDSA. “Also, we listed and explained all the resources that people might talk about the meeting with.”
Nico Decker ’20, officer of SPECTRUM, added, “We especially wanted to make sure that the new kids felt welcomed and safe.”
In its subsequent meeting, Young Republicans discussed how the meeting affected members and the club as a whole. “We want to clarify that the club holds the view that although some people are religious in the club, they do not speak for the majority; they only speak for themselves,” said Amine.
The faculty also aided greatly in showing support for the entire Choate community. “It was clear in the period right after the meeting that some kids were surprised and in some cases hurt by what they had heard,” said Mr. James Yanelli, one of the faculty supervisors during the meeting. “A number of the faculty who serve in student support roles got together to talk about how the needs of those students might be addressed.”
Faculty members such as Dr. Holly Hinderlie, Wellness Coordinator, and Chaplain Ally Brundige, Director of Spiritual Life, also reached out to the participating clubs to make sure students were aware of the support systems available at Choate. “A lot of teachers have reached out to [Choate Young Republicans] in a very positive way to let us know that they’re here to support us and that there’s always resources for us,” informed Feltovic.
Overall, though, the meeting was described by the organizers as constructive and productive for the Choate community. Wang said, “Young Dems and Young Republicans talked more about the legality of issues, while CDSA and Spectrum talked more about the morality of the issue, and that brought a whole new perspective to the conversation.”
The meeting also shed light on what needs to be improved in terms of the values of the community and behavior of its members and how to better discuss topics that are so sensitive and opinionated. “It showed that another conversation needs to be had about acceptance and respect,” said Feltovic.
There were definitely points in the meeting where mutual understanding was obtained through respect and honoring the values of acceptance that the Choate community upholds. “One of the most notable moments was when someone had expressed an opinion … and when somebody else disagreed with them,” said Agwunobi. “There was a dialogue between the two of them that essentially resolved in, ‘I understand your perspective and here’s how I raise mine,’ and I think that those kinds of interactions were what we were actually trying to accomplish.
For the Choate community, this meeting was also able to open a door that could pave the way for future discussions in which students with different viewpoints and backgrounds could nonetheless meaningfully communicate with one another.
